What takes place if my ex declines to go to mediation? – CountryWide

86% of mediation customers inform us it has helped improve their family scenario


We support moms and dads, kids, young people and the broader family through family change and disturbance, especially where this has occurred as a result of separation, divorce, civil partnership dissolution or household restructuring. Mediation services lie in all parts of UK.

The goal of mediation is to enhance communication, decrease dispute and to agree on practical, practical plans for the future, considering kids’s views, sensations and needs. Our focus is on putting children’s requirements first and making separation less demanding for everyone.

Mediation is primarily for couples whose relationship is over, it’s for all sorts of families– single or married, separated, separated or never having lived together, more youthful or older– and for anybody in your household. Moms and dads, grandparents, step-parents, other considerable adults, children and young people can all take part in household mediation.

Conflict is regular in households, and it can occur for a number of various factors. Often it assists to get some additional support to find an excellent way forward. We offer a series of other Family Support services.

Grandparents mediation

UK Grandparent Gain Access To Rights in 2021– (what you REQUIRED to know).

Welcome to the guide for grandparents’ gain access to rights!

As a grandparent, you can truly be stuck in the middle when the marital relationship or relationship of your adult child breaks down. It is difficult to know what to do, and who to call to arrange contact with the grandchildren. As a grandparent, the scenario is of no fault of your own, however sometimes you can end up being separated from your grandchildren, which is heartbreaking.

What are my rights as a grandparent?

Do I have any rights as a grandparent?

The brief response is no, as you don’t have automatic rights, however you can apply to the family courts for permission. The courts in your initial application will consider your connection and blood tie thoroughly and will choose whether ordering contact would be in the finest interests of your grandchildren. If you have never ever seen your grandchildren, or saw them infrequently, then it is not likely the courts will get included; however, if you saw them routinely and have a strong bond, which you can proof, then it is more most likely the courts will look at your application for permission more favourably.

What should I do first to get and attempt contact with my grandchildren?

Maintain and try contact– If you can keep the relationship going with both parents and preserve communications this would be best. You may be able to explain that you won’t take sides and provide them both support.

  • Describe that you miss your grandchildren which they will certainly miss you.
  • Say that you want to provide useful support throughout this tough time.
  • Offer emotional support if you can, by stating that you are there if they want to talk.
  • Recommend that the child is asked about how they feel about future contact.
  • Discuss that you still want to belong to their household, despite what has taken place.

By writing, it gives you time to thoroughly select your words and to think of the level of assistance you want to provide. This approach may not always be possible, as the level of conflict might be too high, or you might receive a negative reaction following your attempts.

If mediation is suitable, the mediator will then compose to the moms and dad( s) welcoming them to mediation. If it is decided that mediation is not the ideal route, the arbitrator will release a mediation certificate, which will enable you to make an application to court for a kid arrangements order. Constantly make sure your mediator is signed up with the Family Mediation Council and can provide a mediation certificate.

3. Family Court- This really should be the very last choice to be considered, however it is identified that often this is the only course offered. Courts do not like to intervene into the lives of children, however when the responsible adults can not find a way forward, and it is for the benefit of the children, then they will. You will require to look for permission to the courts to make a C100 application, so it is very essential you arrange your proof of the relationship you have with your grandchildren. Court tends to like dates, times and locations. You may have photographs and other types of evidence that you wish to consist of.

What can I be doing now?

Indirect contact- If you were formerly having regular contact, it is very important that you keep and attempt in touch with your grandchildren. This can depend on the age of the grandchildren. Before you start this, you may wish to contact the moms and dads out of courtesy to let them know what you intend on doing. At every chance, always attempt and de-escalate the circumstance.

Your grandchildren might have their own phones or laptop computers, so you might have the ability to text or video call. If this is not offered, or contact has been forbidden, you may want to consider writing a letter to them. This will let them know that you are still there. Keep the content of your writing neutral and ensure it is kid focused. It would be best to avoid the subject of the dispute and focus on subjects such as school, hobbies, buddies. You may want to include an image of you doing something, and even a small present such as a story book. When you correspond, it is necessary to take a copy of your letter, conserve your e-mail or copy your phone log, as it may be used as proof for any court case that later on takes place. This reveals that you have actually preserved contact. If you send letters, you might want to think about sending them Signed For or Special Delivery. This makes sure that they are not lost in the post which they have reached their location. It again offers evidence also that the letters were sent, even if the letters are intercepted. The last point about communicating with your grandchildren, is to do it frequently, even if you don’t get a reply. You may think about including a stamped dealt with envelope, so it is simple for them to respond. Many grandparents state that writing really makes them feel much better mentally, as there is a sensation that they are doing something to preserve that bond.

My son is not on the child’s birth certificate. What can I do?

This can be a very difficult situation and you may gain from getting some legal advice about the choices readily available to you. Your child would just have parental duty if he was wed to his partner at the time of the birth, or his name was on the child’s birth certificate. If this is not the case, and you have contact with your son, you might wish to ask your kid if he is having contact and if not, attempt dealing with the circumstance together, instead of operating in seclusion. Your son might likewise value your support.

How do I make an application to court as a grandparent for contact?

Family court is always the last alternative after having attempting everything else. The procedure can be costly and if you engage lawyers or solicitors can quickly reach ₤ 2,000 in preparing for a court hearing. At the subsequent hearings further expenses will be sustained. When talking to lawyers one tip is to request for fixed costs for particular phases of the process. This will enable you to manage your financial resources easier.

Lots of people think it is needed to have a lawyer or lawyer when you go to court, however this is not the case, as you can represent yourself. You might likewise be able to manage the procedure yourself with assistance from organisations such as the Assistance Through Court, a community legal centre, or People Guidance Bureau.

Do I have an automated right to make the application as a grandparent?

As pointed out previously, the sad truth is that you, as a grandparent, do not have an automatic right to have contact with your grandchildren. It is accepted that the household courts do identify the crucial function that grandparents play in the lives of their grandchildren. It is rarely that the family court would refuse an application, unless there had actually been no contact formerly, or there was evidence of abuse or violence.

Action 1– Mediation Details & Evaluation Fulfilling (MIAM).

As mentioned, if you are going to make an application to the court, you will need to have attempted mediation with a recognized mediator, unless you are exempt. If mediation has actually not succeeded, you will be provided with a mediation certificate, which will enable you to make the application to the courts. The average expense for a Mediation Information & Assessment Fulfilling (MIAM) is around ₤ 120.

Step 2– C100 Application.

The C100 application can be discovered online. You can either finish it online or print it out. The form can be quite complicated, but we have composed a guide, which might be of help when finishing the form. It is on this type that you are needed to seek leave of the court to make the application. Constantly remember that the child is at the centre of all proceedings and therefore it is best to focus on why the kid must have contact with you, not why you need to have contact with the kid.

There is a charge for the application, which is ₤ 215. This is paid to the court. You might get some help paying the cost if you are getting advantages or are on a low income.

Action 3– CAFCASS (Kids and Family Court Advisory and Support Service).

The family court will look at whether or not you can hang out with your grandchild and if so, what sort of contact would be in the kid’s interest. There are 2 types: i) Indirect Contact– letters, phone conversation. ii) Direct Contact– seeing your grandchild face to face.

The court will designate a CAFCASS Welfare Officer to speak to everyone involved in the case. Following this, a CAFCASS report will be sent to the courts to assist them in deciding on the contact plans.

The celebrations worried in the proceeding will get a copy of the CAFCASS report. You might ask the parent and attempt to permit contact if it strongly suggests contact to be allowed. If this does not happen, then the case will continue to a complete hearing.

Step 4– Court Hearing.

Individuals are frequently very worried about going to a court hearing. Everybody who works in the court, whether they are a District Judge, a family magistrate or a legal advisor to the court, do the work due to the fact that they wish to assist households. It is not like a criminal court, where somebody is going to be discovered guilty or not guilty. The environment is more helpful, as everyone acknowledges that there is a child at the centre of the procedures.

Throughout the hearing, the applicant (you) and the participant (the parent of your grandchild) will advance their evidence. You will need to describe how you have actually been associated with the lives of your grandchildren and the negative impact that not having contact will have on them. The court, when making their decision, will likewise consider the CAFCASS Officer’s report, which features suggestions.

If it is in the kid’s best interest, an order will be made by the court, which will describe how contact will be moving forward.

What occurs if the moms and dads neglect the court order?

This in some cases takes place, which is really discouraging. However, you have the ability to bring the case back to court and describe that the order has been breached. The family court then has the powers to enforce the order and punish the person( s) who have neglected the original order.

Frequently Asked Questions.

Do I have an automatic legal right to see my grandchildren?

No, you don’t, so you require to seek approval to the courts when you make your application. It is very uncommon that the court don’t enable application from grandparents and acknowledge the essential function they play in household life.

What should I do as a grandparent if I can not see my grandchildren?

The primary step is to make and try contact with the moms and dads to see if it can be solved informally. If not, attempt mediation and then if that does not work, make a court application.

What is the legal process for grandparents wishing to see their grandchildren?

You will need to attend a Mediation Info & Assessment Satisfying (MIAM) very first and after that if that is not effective, make your application to the family court. Following this, you will go to a hearing at your local family court.

Do I require a solicitor to make my application as a grandparent to court?

There is no requirement for you to utilize a solicitor. Many grandparents go to court by themselves and handle the process without a concern. Such as Support Through Court if you require assistance there are a number of charities who can assist you.


Unfortunately, lots of grandparents in England and Wales, who face separation from their grandchildren due to their daughter or son separating or divorcing from their partner, do not attempt family mediation, however book an appointment to see a family lawyer. In many countries in Europe, it is a conciliator, who people see initially. The aim of the household mediator is to attempt and de-escalate the household scenario and to take a look at whether the problems can be fixed without litigating. The other advantages of using family mediation is that there is the potential that you might conserve a lot of cash. Court cases can cost countless pounds and take much longer. It appears that the typical wait in court has to do with three months.

CountryWide Mediation Services have experience of helping grandparents and are an award-winning family mediation firm. Within our group of skilled conciliators, accredited by the Family Mediation Council, numerous are grandparents themselves.

As explained in the guide above, the mediation procedure starts with a MIAM (Mediation Details & Evaluation Meeting), which costs ₤ 120. This fee consists of the providing of the mediation certificate if needed. You attend the MIAM alone and the family arbitrator will talk to you about how mediation works and ask you about the problems you are having concerning contact with your grandchildren. If your case continues to mediation, the cost per hour per person is the same.

The feedback we have gotten from our customers, much of them grandparents, has actually been extremely positive. Our company believe that you will discover family mediation a great beginning point and ideally through the process you will discover a method forward.


It is to be kept in mind that this guide is for general assistance just. We recommend that you seek professional legal suggestions from a family solicitor or lawyer if you think you require legal suggestions.

CountryWide Mediation Services is a trading name for The Intelligent Solutions Group Ltd. We always try to make certain that the info we provide is current and accurate. Bear in mind that we do not accept liability for any loss, damage or hassle resulting as a consequence of any use of, or the failure to utilize any details presented here or on this site. We are unable to assure that the info we have composed will be free from mistakes. We are not responsible for any claims brought by third parties originating from your use of info found on our website or any links offered.

CountryWide Mediation Solutions does not take any obligation for the material of sites it has listed. It is to be understood that by providing a link it does not suggest we endorse the service or services supplied. CountryWide Mediation Services also does not have control over the linked pages being available.

If you have actually never ever seen your grandchildren, or saw them rarely, then it is not likely the courts will get involved; however, if you saw them frequently and have a strong bond, which you can proof, then it is more likely the courts will look at your application for authorization more favourably. If it is chosen that mediation is not the ideal route, the conciliator will issue a mediation certificate, which will enable you to make an application to court for a child plans order. As specified, if you are going to make an application to the court, you will have to have attempted mediation with a recognized mediator, unless you are exempt. If mediation has not been effective, you will be issued with a mediation certificate, which will permit you to make the application to the courts. Everyone who works in the court, whether they are a District Judge, a household magistrate or a legal consultant to the court, do the work since they wish to assist households.

CountryWide Mediation Services & Important Links

About Mediation in WikiPedia

Mediation is a structured, interactive process where an impartial third party assists disputing parties in resolving conflict through the use of specialized communication and negotiation techniques. All participants in mediation are encouraged to actively participate in the process. Mediation is a “party-centered” process in that it is focused primarily upon the needs, rights, and interests of the parties. The mediator uses a wide variety of techniques to guide the process in a constructive direction and to help the parties find their optimal solution. A mediator is facilitative in that she/he manages the interaction between parties and facilitates open communication. Mediation is also evaluative in that the mediator analyzes issues and relevant norms (“reality-testing”), while refraining from providing prescriptive advice to the parties (e.g., “You should do… .”).

Mediation, as used in law, is a form of alternative dispute resolution resolving disputes between two or more parties with concrete effects. Typically, a third party, the mediator, assists the parties to negotiate a settlement. Disputants may mediate disputes in a variety of domains, such as commercial, legal, diplomatic, workplace, community, and family matters.

The term “mediation” broadly refers to any instance in which a third party helps others reach an agreement. More specifically, mediation has a structure, timetable, and dynamics that “ordinary” negotiation lacks. The process is private and confidential, possibly enforced by law. Participation is typically voluntary. The mediator acts as a neutral third party and facilitates rather than directs the process. Mediation is becoming a more peaceful and internationally accepted solution to end the conflict. Mediation can be used to resolve disputes of any magnitude.

The term “mediation,” however, due to language as well as national legal standards and regulations is not identical in content in all countries but rather has specific connotations, and there are some differences between Anglo-Saxon definitions and other countries, especially countries with a civil, statutory law tradition.

Mediators use various techniques to open, or improve, dialogue and empathy between disputants, aiming to help the parties reach an agreement. Much depends on the mediator’s skill and training. As the practice gained popularity, training programs, certifications, and licensing followed, which produced trained and professional mediators committed to the discipline.

Related Links

Our Social Media

Around The Web