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Grandparents mediation

How can mediation aid grandparents?

One of the unfortunate, and typically unintentional, issues when a relationship breaks down, is the suffering that children experience when they lose contact with grandparents, and that grandparents can go through when they discover they are no longer part of their grandchildren’s lives. Grandparents can use a special relationship to kids. They have more time and persistence, and a different, more accepting point of view.

One million grandparents have no contact with grandchildren

The truth is that there are around one million grandparents in the UK who say they no longer have contact with their grandchildren– most of the time because of the divorce or separation of their own children or some other household argument.

This is especially disheartening as all of us know that moms and dads often rely greatly on help from their own parents to look after their grandchildren. In fact, 97% of parents get some sort of help, according to Grandparentsplus. This may just be choosing the kids up from school, providing some food and keeping them occupied for an hour or two up until their moms and dads pick them up when they end up work. Some grandparents are far more hands on though, taking care of the kids for the entire day, every day, whilst parents work.

According to Gransnet, the number of grandparents caring for their grandchildren is rising sharply, increasing by 49% since 2009, however 99% of grandparent childminders stay unsettled, saving the country around ₤ 17 billion in child care.

It is easy to understand why loss of contact with grandkids can be heartbreaking for them and for the grandparents, who in fact have no automatic right to exposure to their grandchildren. It isn’t against the law for a parent to refuse a grandparent contact with their grandchildren, and it may seem like there is absolutely nothing that grandparents can do to re-establish that contact, however there are a number of ways forward.

Mediation specialists can assist grandparents

The majority of grandparents will try to figure out concerns themselves by approaching their children to discuss the issues, however if this doesn’t work, where should they turn? Bad blood can currently be heated up, and blame is frequently part of the argument. Lawsuits, and court, is often not the very best method forward and can really fuel the fire. It is likewise costly and can take a long time. Mediation presents an expert who is able to help everyone, look at things in a different way and concentrate on what the kids need rather than their differences. It is less adversarial than the conventional court path and can assist to facilitate better conversations, presenting calm and control, resulting in agreements that people can work with.

Mediation is typically very successful and both celebrations can iron out misconceptions, get a better understanding of why the relationship broke down and of each other’s expectations going forward.

In some cases, however, mediation does not work, and grandparents can then look at making an application to court for a child-arrangements order. Courts constantly have the child’s benefits at heart therefore will need grandparents to show that they did have a meaningful relationship with the grandchild before contact was lost which re-establishing it will benefit the grandchild and won’t have a harmful effect on the broader family. Grandparents will likewise need to reveal that mediation has actually been tried prior to applying to court, or that there was a particular factor that it wasn’t.

If you are a grandparent who has actually lost contact with your grandchildren, for whatever factor, call our mediation professionals now. We can discuss your own circumstance and advise whether we feel that mediation can assist you and your family.

One of the sad, and typically unexpected, issues when a relationship breaks down, is the suffering that children experience when they lose contact with grandparents, and that grandparents can go through when they discover they are no longer part of their grandchildren’s lives. Often, however, mediation does not work, and grandparents can then look at making an application to court for a child-arrangements order. Courts always have the child’s best interests at heart and so will require grandparents to show that they did have a meaningful relationship with the grandchild prior to contact was lost and that re-establishing it will benefit the grandchild and will not have a harmful result on the broader household. Grandparents will also need to show that mediation has been tried prior to applying to court, or that there was a specific factor that it wasn’t.

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About Mediation in WikiPedia

Mediation is a structured, interactive process where an impartial third party assists disputing parties in resolving conflict through the use of specialized communication and negotiation techniques. All participants in mediation are encouraged to actively participate in the process. Mediation is a “party-centered” process in that it is focused primarily upon the needs, rights, and interests of the parties. The mediator uses a wide variety of techniques to guide the process in a constructive direction and to help the parties find their optimal solution. A mediator is facilitative in that she/he manages the interaction between parties and facilitates open communication. Mediation is also evaluative in that the mediator analyzes issues and relevant norms (“reality-testing”), while refraining from providing prescriptive advice to the parties (e.g., “You should do… .”).

Mediation, as used in law, is a form of alternative dispute resolution resolving disputes between two or more parties with concrete effects. Typically, a third party, the mediator, assists the parties to negotiate a settlement. Disputants may mediate disputes in a variety of domains, such as commercial, legal, diplomatic, workplace, community, and family matters.

The term “mediation” broadly refers to any instance in which a third party helps others reach an agreement. More specifically, mediation has a structure, timetable, and dynamics that “ordinary” negotiation lacks. The process is private and confidential, possibly enforced by law. Participation is typically voluntary. The mediator acts as a neutral third party and facilitates rather than directs the process. Mediation is becoming a more peaceful and internationally accepted solution to end the conflict. Mediation can be used to resolve disputes of any magnitude.

The term “mediation,” however, due to language as well as national legal standards and regulations is not identical in content in all countries but rather has specific connotations, and there are some differences between Anglo-Saxon definitions and other countries, especially countries with a civil, statutory law tradition.

Mediators use various techniques to open, or improve, dialogue and empathy between disputants, aiming to help the parties reach an agreement. Much depends on the mediator’s skill and training. As the practice gained popularity, training programs, certifications, and licensing followed, which produced trained and professional mediators committed to the discipline.

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