A Quick Guide to Family Mediation for Moms And Dads who are Self-Represented – 2021.

86% of mediation customers inform us it has actually helped enhance their household circumstance


We support parents, kids, young people and the wider household through household modification and interruption, especially where this has actually happened as a result of separation, divorce, civil collaboration dissolution or household restructuring. Mediation services lie in all parts of UK.

The objective of mediation is to improve communication, lower dispute and to agree on useful, practical plans for the future, taking into account kids’s needs, views and feelings. Our focus is on putting children’s needs first and making separation less difficult for everybody.

Although mediation is primarily for couples whose relationship is over, it’s for all sorts of households– single or married, separated, separated or never ever having lived together, more youthful or older– and for anyone in your family. Moms and dads, grandparents, step-parents, other substantial adults, kids and young people can all participate in household mediation.

Conflict is typical in households, and it can occur for a variety of various factors. In some cases it assists to get some additional assistance to find a great way forward. We provide a range of other Household Support services.

Grandparents mediation

UK Grandparent Access Rights in 2021– (what you REQUIRED to understand).

Invite to the guide for grandparents’ gain access to rights!

As a grandparent, you can actually be stuck in the middle when the marital relationship or relationship of your adult child breaks down. It is difficult to know what to do, and who to get in touch with to arrange contact with the grandchildren. As a grandparent, the circumstance is of no fault of your own, but in some cases you can wind up being separated from your grandchildren, which is heartbreaking. Where do you start? This short guide is to help you comprehend your rights and to know what steps to take going forward. The info provided only applies in England and Wales.

What are my rights as a grandparent?

Do I have any rights as a grandparent?

The short answer is no, as you don’t have automated rights, however you can apply to the family courts for approval. You can make an application to see your grandchildren under the Children Act (1989 )if that is approved. The courts in your initial application will consider your connection and blood tie carefully and will choose whether ordering contact would remain in the very best interests of your grandchildren. If you have never seen your grandchildren, or saw them infrequently, then it is not likely the courts will get involved; however, if you saw them regularly and have a strong bond, which you can proof, then it is most likely the courts will look at your application for consent more favourably. The key here is to explain the function you played in your grandchildren’s life up till your contact stopped. It is best to act to solve the solution quicker instead of later, and it does not constantly imply litigating.

What should I do initially to try and get contact with my grandchildren?

1. Try and maintain contact– If you can keep the relationship opting for both moms and dads and preserve interactions this would be best. You might be able to discuss that you won’t take sides and use them both assistance. If you are fretted about what to state in a conversation, you might write a letter or e-mail. Here are a couple of tips that may help:.

  • Describe that you miss your grandchildren and that they will certainly miss you.
  • Say that you are willing to use practical support throughout this hard time.
  • Offer emotional support if you can, by saying that you exist if they want to talk.
  • Suggest that the child is inquired about how they feel about future contact.
  • Discuss that you still want to be part of their household, in spite of what has actually taken place.

By writing, it offers you time to thoroughly pick your words and to think of the level of support you want to use. This technique might not always be possible, as the level of dispute might be too high, or you might receive an unfavorable action following your efforts.

2. Family mediation- An arbitrator is an independent person who can support you and the moms and dads in attempting to reach an arrangement regarding the time you invest with your grandchildren. The initial step is for you to book a Mediation Info & Assessment Meeting (MIAM). Throughout this you speak about your case and the arbitrator will keep in mind and tell you about the mediation procedure, consisting of the different types, such as in person and shuttle, for cases where there is a high level of dispute. If mediation is suitable, the mediator will then write to the moms and dad( s) welcoming them to mediation. If this invite is accepted, then they will also have a MIAM. Once again, if mediation is appropriate, a time and date will be set for mediation to participate. If it is decided that mediation is not the best route, the arbitrator will release a mediation certificate, which will permit you to make an application to court for a child plans order. Constantly ensure your arbitrator is signed up with the Family Mediation Council and can provide a mediation certificate.

3. Family Court- This truly should be the extremely last choice to be considered, but it is recognised that often this is the only course offered. Courts do not like to step in into the lives of children, but when the responsible adults can not find a method forward, and it is for the benefit of the children, then they will. You will require to seek consent to the courts to make a C100 application, so it is really important you arrange your proof of the relationship you have with your grandchildren. Court tends to like dates, places and times. You may have photos and other kinds of proof that you want to consist of.

What can I be doing now?

Indirect contact– If you were formerly having routine contact, it is important that you attempt and keep in touch with your grandchildren. Prior to you begin this, you might want to get in touch with the moms and dads out of courtesy to let them understand what you plan on doing.

Your grandchildren might have their own phones or laptops, so you may be able to text or video call. If this is not readily available, or contact has been prohibited, you may wish to think about composing a letter to them. This will let them know that you are still there. Keep the material of your writing neutral and make sure it is kid focused. It would be best to avoid the topic of the conflict and concentrate on topics such as school, hobbies, buddies. You may wish to consist of an image of you doing something, or even a small present such as a story book. When you correspond, it is important to take a copy of your letter, conserve your email or copy your phone log, as it may be used as evidence for any court case that later takes place. This shows that you have actually kept contact. You may want to believe about sending them Signed For or Special Shipment if you send letters. This makes sure that they are not lost in the post and that they have actually reached their location. It again offers proof also that the letters were sent out, even if the letters are obstructed. The last point about communicating with your grandchildren, is to do it regularly, even if you don’t get a reply. You might think of consisting of a stamped resolved envelope, so it is simple for them to respond. Numerous grandparents state that composing actually makes them feel better psychologically, as there is a feeling that they are doing something to preserve that bond.

My child is not on the kid’s birth certificate. What can I do?

Your child would just have adult responsibility if he was wed to his partner at the time of the birth, or his name was on the child’s birth certificate. If this is not the case, and you have contact with your son, you might want to ask your child if he is having contact and if not, attempt resolving the circumstance together, rather than working in seclusion.

How do I make an application to court as a grandparent for contact?

Household court is always the last choice after having attempting everything else. The procedure can be pricey and if you engage barristers or solicitors can quickly reach ₤ 2,000 in preparing for a court hearing.

Many people think it is essential to have a solicitor or barrister when you go to court, but this is not the case, as you can represent yourself. This is not an unusual circumstance and many people do it. Don’t be scared of requesting for assistance or explanation during the court process. You might also have the ability to manage the procedure yourself with assistance from organisations such as the Assistance Through Court, a neighborhood legal centre, or People Suggestions Bureau.

Do I have an automated right to make the application as a grandparent?

As mentioned formerly, the unfortunate truth is that you, as a grandparent, do not have an automatic right to have contact with your grandchildren. It is accepted that the family courts do identify the essential function that grandparents play in the lives of their grandchildren. It is not often that the family court would refuse an application, unless there had actually been no contact formerly, or there was evidence of abuse or violence.

Action 1– Mediation Information & Evaluation Satisfying (MIAM).

As specified, if you are going to make an application to the court, you will have to have tried mediation with an accredited conciliator, unless you are exempt. If mediation has not achieved success, you will be issued with a mediation certificate, which will enable you to make the application to the courts. The average cost for a Mediation Info & Assessment Meeting (MIAM) is around ₤ 120.

Step 2– C100 Application.

It is on this type that you are required to seek leave of the court to make the application. Always keep in mind that the kid is at the centre of all proceedings and for that reason it is best to focus on why the child needs to have contact with you, not why you need to have contact with the child.

There is a cost for the application, which is ₤ 215. This is paid to the court. If you are getting advantages or are on a low income, you may get some aid paying the fee.

Step 3– CAFCASS (Kids and Family Court Advisory and Assistance Service).

The family court will take a look at whether or not you can hang around with your grandchild and if so, what sort of contact would remain in the child’s interest. There are two types: i) Indirect Contact– letters, phone conversation. ii) Direct Contact– seeing your grandchild face to face.

If consent is approved for your application to be heard. The court will designate a CAFCASS Welfare Officer to speak to everybody involved in the case. The officer will check out all of the problems raise concerning the well-being of the child or kids. Following this, a CAFCASS report will be sent to the courts to assist them in selecting the contact plans.

The parties concerned in the case will get a copy of the CAFCASS report. You might ask the moms and dad and attempt to enable contact if it highly suggests contact to be allowed. The case will proceed to a full hearing if this does not occur.

Step 4– Court Hearing.

Individuals are typically very concerned about participating in a court hearing. Everyone who operates in the court, whether they are a District Judge, a household magistrate or a legal advisor to the court, do the work since they want to assist households. It is not like a criminal court, where someone is going to be found guilty or not guilty. The environment is more encouraging, as everybody acknowledges that there is a child at the centre of the procedures.

During the hearing, the applicant (you) and the respondent (the parent of your grandchild) will put forward their evidence. You will need to explain how you have actually been involved in the lives of your grandchildren and the unfavorable effect that not having contact will have on them. The court, when making their decision, will also think about the CAFCASS Officer’s report, which features suggestions.

If it is in the kid’s best interest, an order will be made by the court, which will detail how contact will be moving forward.

What occurs if the parents ignore the court order?

This sometimes occurs, which is very aggravating. You are able to bring the case back to court and describe that the order has actually been breached. The family court then has the powers to enforce the order and penalize the person( s) who have actually ignored the original order.

Frequently Asked Questions.

Do I have an automated legal right to see my grandchildren?

No, you don’t, so you require to look for consent to the courts when you make your application. However, it is very unusual that the court don’t allow application from grandparents and acknowledge the crucial role they play in domesticity.

What should I do as a grandparent if I can not see my grandchildren?

The initial step is to attempt and make contact with the moms and dads to see if it can be fixed informally. If not, attempt mediation and then if that does not work, make a court application.

What is the legal process for grandparents wishing to see their grandchildren?

You will require to participate in a Mediation Info & Assessment Meeting (MIAM) very first and then if that is not successful, make your application to the family court. Following this, you will go to a hearing at your local family court.

Do I need a solicitor to make my application as a grandparent to court?

There is no requirement for you to utilize a solicitor. Numerous grandparents go to court on their own and manage the procedure without a concern. Such as Support Through Court if you require support there are a number of charities who can help you.


Sadly, many grandparents in England and Wales, who deal with separation from their grandchildren due to their child separating or divorcing from their partner, do not attempt family mediation, but book a visit to see a family legal representative. In many countries in Europe, it is a conciliator, who individuals see initially. The objective of the household conciliator is to try and de-escalate the household circumstance and to look at whether the concerns can be dealt with without litigating. The other advantages of using family mediation is that there is the potential that you might conserve a lot of money. Lawsuit can cost thousands of pounds and take a lot longer. It seems that the average wait in court is about three months.

CountryWide Mediation Solutions have experience of helping grandparents and are an award-winning family mediation firm. Within our team of skilled mediators, accredited by the Family Mediation Council, many are grandparents themselves.

As described in the guide above, the mediation process begins with a MIAM (Mediation Information & Evaluation Meeting), which costs ₤ 120. You attend the MIAM alone and the household conciliator will talk to you about how mediation works and ask you about the issues you are having regarding contact with your grandchildren.

The feedback we have actually gotten from our clients, a lot of them grandparents, has actually been extremely positive. Our company believe that you will discover family mediation an excellent starting point and hopefully through the process you will find a method forward.


It is to be born in mind that this guide is for basic assistance only. We recommend that you seek expert legal recommendations from a household solicitor or barrister if you believe you require legal advice.

CountryWide Mediation Services is a trading name for The Intelligent Solutions Group Ltd. We always try to make sure that the information we offer is up-to-date and precise. Remember that we do not accept liability for any damage, hassle or loss resulting as a consequence of any use of, or the inability to utilize any info presented here or on this website. We are unable to assure that the information we have written will be free from mistakes. We are not responsible for any claims brought by 3rd parties originating from your use of info discovered on our website or any links provided.

CountryWide Mediation Provider does not take any obligation for the content of sites it has actually noted. It is to be understood that by supplying a link it does not indicate we back the service or services supplied. CountryWide Mediation Services also does not have control over the connected pages being offered.

If you have never seen your grandchildren, or saw them occasionally, then it is unlikely the courts will get involved; nevertheless, if you saw them frequently and have a strong bond, which you can proof, then it is more likely the courts will look at your application for approval more favourably. If it is chosen that mediation is not the ideal route, the mediator will provide a mediation certificate, which will enable you to make an application to court for a child plans order. As specified, if you are going to make an application to the court, you will have to have actually tried mediation with a certified conciliator, unless you are exempt. If mediation has not been successful, you will be provided with a mediation certificate, which will allow you to make the application to the courts. Everybody who works in the court, whether they are a District Judge, a family magistrate or a legal advisor to the court, do the work because they want to assist families.

CountryWide Mediation Services & Important Links

About Mediation in WikiPedia

Mediation is a structured, interactive process where an impartial third party assists disputing parties in resolving conflict through the use of specialized communication and negotiation techniques. All participants in mediation are encouraged to actively participate in the process. Mediation is a “party-centered” process in that it is focused primarily upon the needs, rights, and interests of the parties. The mediator uses a wide variety of techniques to guide the process in a constructive direction and to help the parties find their optimal solution. A mediator is facilitative in that she/he manages the interaction between parties and facilitates open communication. Mediation is also evaluative in that the mediator analyzes issues and relevant norms (“reality-testing”), while refraining from providing prescriptive advice to the parties (e.g., “You should do… .”).

Mediation, as used in law, is a form of alternative dispute resolution resolving disputes between two or more parties with concrete effects. Typically, a third party, the mediator, assists the parties to negotiate a settlement. Disputants may mediate disputes in a variety of domains, such as commercial, legal, diplomatic, workplace, community, and family matters.

The term “mediation” broadly refers to any instance in which a third party helps others reach an agreement. More specifically, mediation has a structure, timetable, and dynamics that “ordinary” negotiation lacks. The process is private and confidential, possibly enforced by law. Participation is typically voluntary. The mediator acts as a neutral third party and facilitates rather than directs the process. Mediation is becoming a more peaceful and internationally accepted solution to end the conflict. Mediation can be used to resolve disputes of any magnitude.

The term “mediation,” however, due to language as well as national legal standards and regulations is not identical in content in all countries but rather has specific connotations, and there are some differences between Anglo-Saxon definitions and other countries, especially countries with a civil, statutory law tradition.

Mediators use various techniques to open, or improve, dialogue and empathy between disputants, aiming to help the parties reach an agreement. Much depends on the mediator’s skill and training. As the practice gained popularity, training programs, certifications, and licensing followed, which produced trained and professional mediators committed to the discipline.

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