Copyright 2022/2023 – countrywidemediation.co.uk
Do you feel you are being pushed away from your child?
Does your ex partner try and influence your child about you?
Feel despair and not sure what to do next?
Parent alienation is a very popular discussion point in family mediation and Countrywide can help you both sit down and discuss what’s going on and work out a plan where the children are not impacted by the result of your relationship breakdown.
In the ‘80s a renowned child psychiatrist called Dr Richard Garner came up with a term that describes the process where a parent turns their children against their other parent. The term used for this kind of behaviour is ‘parental alienation.’ This is one of the most distressing behaviours that a parent can subject their entire family to.
Occasionally, the fathers find themselves victims of this situation. Although women undergo it too, clinical experiences show that most of the time it is the father that is alienated from the children. Working with children who have been pressured into a specific narrative about either of their parents is a challenging experience for many psychotherapists.
Understanding Alienation Behaviours – Click to find out more
Schools and teachers need to get training on this matter too. This is because they spend more time with the children than anyone else. Many teachers see the alienation of parents in schools almost every day. In such situations, the school do not understand the problem and end up joining the mother in alienating the father. Consequently, the alienation is escalated by sending the child’s progress to the mother only.
I think the solution is that we should be more willing to improve the process. It is unfortunate that we are slow to create clear policies around this problem that give both parents the right to be heard. We have all seen how distressing parental alienation can be for the children, father and eventually for the mother.
We have all seen how the children inescapably end up resenting one parent for forcing them to be cynical about the other parent. Finally, no one wins, and the result is total damage to the whole family. It is the anger that one parent feels after separation that binds them and drives them towards this maladaptive behaviour.
We should come into terms with our bias. The bitter truth and something that we do not want to experience is that in the year 2014, out of the 5,700 custody and access cases filed, about 2,016 were rejected.
Were all these careless and abusive parents being separated from their children?
We must acknowledge that occasionally a parent who is motivated by their anger will use their children as weapons in their war.